By Bill Hull, Director of Marketing,
When a mature person has been in a relationship for many years and they suddenly find themselves single, due to bereavement or divorce, it can be devastating. Many singles over 60 have decided to live out the remainder of their years alone because they are under the impression that it would be impossible to start dating again. As far as they are concerned, the topic is closed. But if you are willing to adjust this mindset, like millions of seniors you may find there are many new resources available to help and exciting possibilities to try.
In some ways it has never been easier for people over 60 to have an active dating life. For one thing, the pool of available men and women over 60 is bigger than ever. According to The Population Reference Bureau report, “Aging in the United States”, the number of Americans aged 65 and older is projected to more than double from 46 million today to over 98 million by 2060. The Average U.S. life expectancy increased from 68 years in 1950 to 79 years in 2013. More older adults are divorced compared with previous generations. The share of divorced women aged 65 and older increased from 3 percent in 1980 to 13 percent in 2015, and for men from 4 percent to 11 percent during the same period.
Nearly everyone agrees that relationships are the most important part of life. They are crucial throughout our lives, but especially in our latter life for happiness, health, and overall well-being. One wonderful benefit seniors have when it comes to the topic of dating and romance is their experience and their self-awareness. Many seniors are no longer looking to find that perfect love of their life. They simply want companionship or someone who shares a similar, singular interest. This could be a dinner-date companion, a travel companion, a hiking companion, a gardening buddy, or a couple’s bridge partner.
To be sure, some are focused on finding that single life partner who will share a loving relationship for the next few decades.In these cases, finding a companion later in life can be challenging, but opportunities abound to meet like-minded seniors. Church groups, senior centers, hobby clubs,neighborhood grocery stores, libraries and other venues are still excellent places to meet not only potential partners, but also friends in the “old-fashioned” way. Some of the most romantic meetings can occur in a senior living environment, and here at Atherton it seems we always have a wedding or two in the works.
Nowadays, there is also plenty of technology to help with one’s love life. We all recall the scene from Sleepless in Seattlewhere Tom Hanks’s character decides the time is right to jump back into the dating game. A funny conversation ensues with his buddy, Rob Reiner, who tries to explain how much the game has changed since Hanks was last “out there”. Tom declares, “This is gonna be harder than I thought.” He’s right. If you are willing to use the internet to meet people, the resources tailored to help seniors find suitable and enjoyable companionship is extraordinary; but it takes some wisdom, common sense, and self-awareness. Even when people are truthful (and that’s always a risk), connecting online can promise more than it delivers. The tendency is for online relationships to move faster than in-person friendships actually do; so be careful and take things slow.
Nevertheless, millions of seniors are taking advantage of this technology. Senior online dating and relationship sites have become the fastest growing segment of this industry because they provide privacy, are easy to use, and fill a gap for people who are uncomfortable meeting new people in person. There are many choices, like Match.com, where you can freely browse hundreds of profiles. Other paid sites, like eHarmony.com, and Chemistry.com, ask you to take a personality test before they look for “matches” for you. eHarmony now has a special site called eHarmony Senior Dating. There are also faith-based sites and other niche sites, such as: Christian Cafe for Single Seniors, Senior Black People Meet, and Senior Jewish Singles. Working with the dating website HowAboutWe, AARP has created its own online dating service. AARP also has a dating expert who answers questions and can help to navigate through what’s new about meeting people this way. Launched in 2011, OurTime is a senior dating site that has steadily grown membership over 400% annually. Senior FriendFinderis a site that prides itself on customer service and security. Other senior-friendly options include Elite, Zoosk, SilverSingles and SeniorPeople Meet.
In addition to using the actual dating sites to meet a suitable friend or companion, you can find literally millions of articles providing advice, tips, and resources to help even the most reserved person find success in this area of their lives.
In Sleepless in Seattle, shortly after he speaks with his friend, we see Hanks pick up the phone and make that nervous first call to ask for a date. In the background we hear the music swell as Gene Autry sings “I’m back in the saddle again.” Perhaps the time is right for you to start that song as well.
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